Dave has always been a bit of a ladies man and at times I questioned his motives for becoming a personal trainer, but be that as it may, he sure is an extreme PT!
He told me this story once about a female client that he'd had, who happened to be one of the first PT clients in the world.
Her name was Maude and Maude was a Scorpio who enjoyed collecting glamour magazines and eating peanut butter from the jar. She came on as a regular client, training with Dave the extreme PT twice a week; Tuesdays and Thursdays. She just wanted to tone up a little, had played netball for her school, but hadn't exercised for about 6 months.
One Tuesday, Maude turned up for her session a little early.
It turned out that Maude had had a fight with her carpenter boyfriend One Eyed Tony, who was also one of Dave The Extreme PT's clients. Tony had played football up until a knee injury 12 months ago; but now just wanted to keep fit and work on his glutes and hams (Wednesdays and Saturday mornings).
Always the consummate shoulder to cry on, Dave asked Maude to tell him all about it.
They sat down on two 55cm exercise balls, activated their cores and faced each other with their feet at shoulder width.
"Oh my god Dave" Maude blurted out, "One Eyed Tony has totally gone too far this time!" she said.
"I caught him in the bathroom watching himself dancing in the mirror singing 'I'm just a girl' into my hairbrush while he was wearing my pantyhose and a blow drying his hair!" she exclaimed!
"Shhhh" Dave the Extreme PT said in a brooding tone patting her head "Shhhhh little one, please go on".
"Well, I stood there for about three minutes until the end of the song, because it's probably one of my favorites at the moment and then confronted him!"
It was about now that one of Dave's other clients was leaving the gym and yelled out that he was going for a pizza and a bag of ice cream. Dave yelled back "Hey, you better not Stan you lunatic!" and Dave and Stan began laughing hysterically as Stan waved a finger, nodding as he walked to the water fountain tucking his t-shirt into his shorts.
Realising that he'd laughed so hard that his pedometer was registering steps, Dave quickly regained his composure to avoid an inaccurate step reading.
Dave's core was starting to really get a sweet burn about now as it had been activated for approximately 4 minutes on the ball and he knew that Maude's would fail at 6 minutes, so he encouraged her to continue with the story.
"So" Maude said sighing, "I walked in and turned off the cd...do you know that song 'I'm just a girl' Dave? I really love it you know...anyway, I turned off the CD and faced Tony who was standing there stunned with the hairbrush still pinned to his mouth! I said to him, just what do you think you're doing you beautiful one eyed bastard!?"
"What did he say Maude...what did the bastard say!?" Dave beamed.
"He told me he loved me, he told me that he was preparing for a show...a show for me Dave!"
Maude went on to say that the relationship was over. "Show or no show" she said, "this show must not go on".
Dave de-activated his core and took Maude by her hand. He stood her up and spun her like a top for maybe 15 revolutions before stopping her abruptly and whispering these words, words which I will never forget.
"We train hard and extreme like warriors...warriors that are angry and have paint on their faces and feathers and bones and things." A tear rolled down Dave's cheek as Maude tried to regain her balance.
The moral to this story; Dave The Extreme PT is an awesome legend.
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Ha! Dave is hilarious. He looked a little like Mitch (The Hoff) from Baywatch!
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